Give you a laugh

Kids' Jokes

Q. What has four legs but can't walk?

A. A table!

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Q. Why did the turtle cross the road?

A. To get to the Shell station!

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Q. What sort of star is dangerous?

A. A shooting star!

 

Dirty Jokes 

Wife : "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars."

Husband : "How about the ones like mine?"

Wife : "Those they gave away."

Husband : "I had a dream too…I dreamt they were auctioning off cunts. The pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two thousand."

Wife : "And how much for the ones like mine?"

Husband : "That's where they held the auction."

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A woman was standing in a crowded lift of the hotel she was staying in. When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast. The man said, "I'm sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tit, you'll forgive me." so the woman replies, "If you dick is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in room 113."

 

Classic Jokes

A mother found her son scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad.

Mom : "Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play."

Son : "But mom, there's no one to play with."

Mom : "I'll play with you, what do you wanna play?"

Son : "Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs and lay down on the bed."

The mom said ok and went upstairs. The son put on his dad's fishing hat and lit up one of his dad's cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door.

Mom : "Now what do I do?"

Son : "Get your ass out of bed, you whore, and fix that kid some fucking ice cream."

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One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for  while, he tells his daughter she can't do it because he's her half brother. The same problem happens again four more times! The girl starts to get pissed off. She goes to her mom and says, "Mom… What have you been doing all your life? Dad's been going around laying every maiden in the town and now I can't marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out to be my half brothers!!!"

Her mom replies, "Don't worry darling, you can marry any one of them you want, he isn't really your dad."

{democracy:4}

HOW-TO setup a blog site

you might know how to setup a porn site, but may be not a blog site. whoever wish to setup his/her own blog, this is a post for you.

first of all, let's read the defination of blog together..

Blogs often provide commentary or news on a particular subject, such as food, politics, or local news; some function as more personal online diaries. A typical blog combines text, images, and links to other blogs, web pages, and other media related to its topic. The ability for readers to leave comments in an interactive format is an important part of many blogs. Most blogs are primarily textual although some focus on photographs (photoblog), videos (vlog), or audio (podcasting), and are part of a wider network of social media. –http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blog  

alrite, now we know what blog is, and it's time to learn the HOW-TO setup your own blog. There are two choices for you to select.

  1. Hosted blog service sites which provide free blogging service for you to blog. You dont have to pay anything to setup it, but your blog URL will be like http://yourusername.your-free-host-site.com  or may be  http://www.your-free-host-site.com/your-username
  2. yourname.com blog memang sounds canggih one, imagine if someone asking for your blog site URL, and you tell them, they sure scared and admire you one. Of course la, you got to pay some $ to make them scared.

 

Hosted Blog Service Sites

I. Blogger 

II. Friendster blog

III. MSN Space

IV. WordPress.com http://www.wordpress.com

Your own .com blog site
If you wish to host your own blog, you can download and install a software script called WordPress from WordPress.org. To do this you need a web host who meets the minimum requirements and a little time. WordPress is completely customizable and can be used for almost anything.

  1. Purchase your own domain (e.g. kuangyee.com, yeava.com)
    Annual Fee: RM 50 – RM 100 (depends the domain extension , eg .com .biz .org .my)
  2. Purchase web space from web hosting provider to host your website
    Annual Fee: RM 189 – RM 360 (depends capacity and features)
  3. Install wordpress on your website, here's the installation guidelines

Once you have done the installation steps, you'll have a blog like what you are reading at now.

{democracy:3}

Marriage

 

some of you might shout "WAH SEI, VERY CHIO LE", some might say "YO MAN.. very CUN", some might even say "OMG! leng lui leng lui, intro to me, intro to me." Eh pls la, obviously, this is wedding photo..

yes, she's my friend, got married jor. Before we talk about marriage, let's wish all the married couples live happily ever after.

let's start now.

pai sei, share with you guys this photo first, very beautiful. Btw, if you wish your wedding photo to be like this too, you may contact … hmmmmm…  i-also-dont-know-who.

Ok la, dont talk so much. let's start now.

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ai ya, wait until i got married then only we talk..

PO..CO..YO.. POCOYO!

In order to talk in same channel with my niece, i got to know her language and her pocoyo. So now in order to talk same channel with me, you must know who is pocoyo as well..

-the cutie in blue, he is POCOYO

-pinky elephant, she is Elly!

-yellow duck, PATO!

-and the doggy, Loula!

actually there is one more birdy called sleepy bird, wonder why she is not in the picture? b'cos she is sleeping at home, she wholeday sleepy one.

If you have chance to play with my niece, ask her how pocoyo walks, she'll show you the stunt.

Go download pocoyo wallpaper, it helps to cheer you up the whole day.

To learn more, you may visit pocoyo official website

Bangkok – Final

Sawatdee Kaa~ ("How are you" in thai), whenever you hear Kaa~ at the back of sentence, that means she's a girl. for man, should be "Sawatdee Khrab".

i have no idea how a lady boy (we called them ah gua) greets people. kaa or khrab, depends on their mood, may be.

so i mentioned ah gua, wanna me post something related to ah gua or thai girl show? show you how thai girl do some impressive stunt like blowing balloon, flying dart, smoking? too bad, our money all spent on shopping and food, so no more $ for all these stunt.

dont feel disappointed, my friend SJ, she went thailand recently too. lagi shock, she told me she saw human lay eggs.

Time to let me show you some food we took in Bangkok. There were some other food we tried, but forgot to take pictures -.-

5 Baht each. very cute right the rice, they are so creative. tell me which part will you eat first..

Thai food combo: tom yam goong, pat thai, O-jian (fried oyster), beef noodle and also the bear bear rice.

pat thai: 400 Baht, 300 Baht more with few extra fresh shrimp
tom yam goong: 990 Baht
beef noodle: 450 Baht
o-jian: 600 Baht

it's called "LAI", they answered.
50 Baht for two.

grilled banana.

GONG TANG. sweet and crispy. we finished one pack in 10 seconds.

street food – kuey teow soup. very special, but dont ask me what's inside, because i dont know also. it taste a bit sour, very nice if you mixed it with their special spicy powder. 250 Baht each.

another combo: green curry fried rice, tom yam goong, pat thai, fried oyster.

this was the last lunch in bangkok for this trip, took in The Pizza Company in Bangkok airport. fresh and nice. 190 Baht.

girls, be alert. here's the information you love to know. 

we went to Chatuchak Market, worlds biggest weekend market. KNN, damn big, spent few hours still not yet finished exploring the whole market, almost 9,000 individual booths overflowing with every imaginable type of wares to catch your fancy.

you can simply take the Skytrain to the end terminal called Morchit which is exactly where the market is located.

10 seconds bargain guide
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How much:: Tao rai
How much is this:: Nee tao rai (khrap/kha) 
Too expensive:: Paeng gurn pai
Any discount?:: Lot raka noi dai mai?
Not expensive:: Mai paeng
Thank you:: Khawp Khun (khrap/kha)

shopping center like MBK (recommended), siam paragon, central chitlom, discovery, patpong night market, bangkok hardrock cafe and etc.

branded fashion wears are a little bit more expensive than malaysia, but you can get some special edition here. You may find tons of local made souvenir and wearable items in all these shopping centers, if you are going to bangkok, make sure you bring enough $ to sapu them all.

A worthwhile trip i would say. nice food, people, things and environment. Bangkok is a place you must visit at least once in your life time.

Bangkok – Part 3

Damnoen Saduak Floating Market 

Taxi fare: 2000 Baht
(Travel from Hotel in Bangkok to Damnoen Saduak Floating Market, roughly 1 hour plus)

Boot fare: 600 Baht per pax

did you shout: "wah lao eh, so expensive mer" just now? yes, we have the same reaction, knn, we never knew the boat fare so $$$. The moment that person told us the price, we knew that, it's time for us to wear carrot-head costume already.

kena cut carrot-head

presenting to you, the members of carrot-head gang.

This is the proof to show my friend was being cut carrot-head. He represented us as leader of the carrot-head society to pay the fare.

Journey started.. boot boot boot boot boot boot boot..zzz.. (Boot's engine sound) 

They will off the boat engine whenever there's incoming boat. they won't kena those incoming boat, even though the river is so narrow.

dang dang.. we have arrived the legendary floating market.

They are selling everything.

You can have Thai style snack or breakfast on your boat. Fruits, snacks, hats, T-shirts, vegetables, silk dress, toys, you try anything, its there.

The river water is clean, the people is friendly. Although this floating market almost commercialized, it's good for tourist to experience thai people's traditional way of buying and selling, you can see some old style thai building and you have the chance to visit very first temple (Wat Arun – Temple of Dawn) in bangkok.

Bangkok – Part 2

 

Grand palace. Very big one inside. We were not allowed to go in, because we all wore slippers.

This is the building opposite Grand Palace, heard that it's a military building, dont know what's its actual name.

If you are bored to the red white color on taxi in M'sia, then you should go bangkok and see their rainbow taxi gang, you can see fluorescent green colored taxi, pinky la, orange, cyan, you name it they have it.

Welcome drink. peach taste. toast.

Damnoen Saduak Floating Market, 80 km southwest of Bangkok in Ratchaburi province, is one of the largest and most popular floating markets among tourists.

The market is active in the mornings only, from 6.00 am to 11.00 am. So i was forced to wake up at 530am. knn.

Let me talk about floating market more on part 3.

Stay tune.

Bangkok Trip

Bangkok, capital of Thailand

ibc_map_thailand_en.gif

Thai has its own currency: baht and satang (100 satangs = 1 baht) and 10 baht = RM 1.

Flight + Accom. = RM 770
Transport + Meal + Shopping = RM 650

It's good to travel with 3 other friends, so can save some $ from taxi fare. Bangkok taxi meter starts from 35 baht (RM3.50). Tuk tuk (A kind of transportation that only available in thailand) cost only 10 baht per trip.

(to be continued)

wait for part 2